Behind a Smile
by ByeByeeee
Summary: Hermione has become very depressed over the summer. She has a few well kept secrets, but what if Draco finds her diary and finds out about them? Warning: Cutting. DMHG. [THIS IS OLD AND NOT VERY GOOD]
1. Hermione's secret

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Harry Potter, wow what a surprise.**

**Warning:** **Rated T for cutting.**

**A/N:** **Hey, this is my first fanfic. I'm not afraid of comment, but please don't be mean:p I'm not English, and I'm not very good at it but I'll do the best I can.**

**This story starts at the beginning of their (Harry and the others) 7th year at Hogwarts, but Dumbledore isn't dead and the're all going back to Hogwarts (because at the end of the HBP Harry says he's not going back).**

**If you notice any serious grammar or spelling mistakes, please tell me!**

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**Chapter One: Hermione's secret**

Hermione stared at her own pale face in the mirror. She took a brush and tried to comb her curly hair. When she failed, she threw it against the wall.

She fell down on her bed, sobbing. Obviously this was not just about her hair. Hermione had been feeling miserable lately, and she couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts, to her friends. Although she had some serious doubts about that too.

She hadn't heard anything from Harry or Ron during the whole summer. Someone knocked on her door. Without waiting for an answer her mother came in.

"Hermione, honey are you coming down for dinner in a minute?"

Hermione tried to smile. "I'm not really hungry mom."

Her mother frowned her eyebrows. "Isn't that the third time this week? You're not going to be sick, are you? And there's no need to go on a diet honey! When I was about your age I would have done anything for a figure like y..."

"No!" Hermione yelled. "That...that's not it. I just...I'm not feeling very well. I guess I'll just go to bed early, that will help. Good night mom."

"Good night Mione." She closed the door and walked away.

The next morning Hermione was having breakfast with her mother.

"Feeling better already, Mione?" Her mother asked.

Hermione nodded.

"Good. Oh, and before I forget, your friend Ron called."

Hermione smiled for the first time in weeks. _They hadn't forgotten about her! _

"He's inviting you to spend the last week of the summer at his house. Harry's coming too. He seemed like a nice guy, he's just a...a loud speaker," her mother continued.

Hermione laughed. "Yeah, he's not really used to using a phone."

"Oh God, look at the time! I should be leaving otherwise I'll be late for work. Can you do the dishes? Sorry honey, see you later, bye bye." And with that she rushed out of the door.

Hermione sighed and went upstairs to read a book. The dishes could wait.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Hermione sat up quickly. _He's in a good mood!_ She sighed. _What a relief. _

She opened her door, and ran downstairs, ready to hug him and see him happy for once, talking to him without..._Uh oh. _"HERMIONE!" She shuddered. She knew she should run back to her room and lock her door but somehow she just couldn't move her legs, she was so afraid...She just stared at her father's angry face.

"HERMIONE GRANGER! Why are there still dirty dishes on the table?"

_Uh oh. Totally forgotten. _

"Was that so much to ask!"

He was now standing right in front of her. Hermione walked backwards slowly until she reached the wall and she couldn't go anywhere.

"And who gave you permission to walk around like a SLUT!" She quickly pulled her T-shirt down, to cover her stomach but it was too late.

"Who the hell do you think you ARE!" With that last word he slapped Hermione in her face. "Ouch!" As a reflex Hermione's hand touched the red spot on her cheeck.

"Shut up! Do don't want the neighbours to hear you, do you!" _Bang. _He hit her again. "Daddy! Please, don't do this!" She covered her face with her hands. "Dad, please!"

He didn't listen. He hit her another time. "Dad, please!" She screamed desperately. "Dad, I love you!"

Finally, her father stopped hitting her. Hermione fell down on the ground, crying. "I love you daddy," she repeated. "We are you doing this to me?"

For a moment she thought he was going to cry too. But then he grabbed her by her hair, forced her to stand op and roughly pushed her into her bedroom.

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**Plz plz plzzzzz review!**


	2. She wants me

**Hey Everyone!**

**Here's a new chap, this one is a little longer.**

**DancingBabe: Thanks!**

**Andrettamaiebodi: Thanks for your review, and about that brutal-thing, the, rest of the story won't be that violent.**

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: Thanks, is this soon enough:p**

**Lilmissqullible: No her mother doesn't know, and yeah he does this often. Thanks for reviewing.**

**XXDarkestAngelXX: Thank u.**

**Chapter Two: She wants me**

The next morning Hermione woke up with a terrible headache. She got up and when she looked in the mirror she remembered. He had hit her again.

Carefully she touched her left eye which was all swollen.

_Maybe I can hide it with a lot of make-up, _she thought hopefully.

A few minutes later she felt content with her reflection. _Okay, it may be a little too much, _she said to herself. _But it'll do. And I can wear my sunglasses later. It is summer after all._

She walked down the stairs, hoping that her father was not at home.

_Thank God, _she thought relieved when she found her mother having breakfast alone.

"Hi mom."

"Morning Mione! You're up early for once," her mother said. "Do you need a ride to Ron's house?"

"No thanks mom, I'll just apparate." She answered. (zeg, sinds wanneer kan ze dan? Wanneer heeft ze d´r test gehaald? Misschien moet je dat er ff bij zegge, dat ze hem heb gehaald ofsow)

Her mother giggled a very childish way.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Mom, you're still being so immature about me being a witch."

"Hey!" Her mother protested. "I still have to get used to the fact that my little Mione is a big girl now."

They both laughed.

"Well, I've got to go now," Hermione said while looking at her watch. "I'll write. Goodbye!" She gave her mother a hug, went upstairs to get her trunk and disapparated.

"Mione!" Ron shouted through the kitchen as soon as she had arrived. He jumped out of his chair and gave her a hug. Realizing what he was doing, he let her go, stepped away and blushed.

"Mione, you look great!" She heard Harry say from the other side of the kitchen.

"You guys don't look so bad either. Nice colour! You must have spent a lot of time in the su…"

"Hey Hermione!" Ginny Weasly, Ron's little sister walked in. _Although you could barely speak of her as little, _Hermione thought.

"We didn't expect to see you until tomorrow. What a nice surpirse!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," an embarrassed Hermione said. "My mother told me…"

"No, no problem! It's fine! We all love to see you again," said Ginny who hugged Hermione so enthusiastic that she could hardly breathe. When she finally let her go, Harry told Hermione that they were planning on going to Diagon Alley the next day.

"But since you're already here, we could go after lunch, right?" asked Harry.

Everybody in the kitchen nodded quietly. It was obvious that the Weasley's were not really exited about buying their new schoolbooks. They were always a bit worried about money, and wether their mother and father could pay for their books. Especially this year, since Mr. Weasly's job almost didn't bring any money in.

"I need a new dressrobe, but mom probably won't buy me one," Ron muttered.

Both Ginny and Hermione giggled.

"I hope she'll buy you one," Ginny lauged. "That…that thing she sent you in your fourth year, that was just…awful."

"Mione, Harry and I are going to visit Fred and George at their shop, okay? Are you coming too after you bought your books?" Ron asked.

Hermione just nodded, having no idea what he had asked her.

She was in Diagon Alley's bookshop, waiting for the owner who was getter her books.

And she was thinking... thinking…thinking…

Being with her friends was great, but even that couldn't distract her from her problems.

She stared at her booklist for a moment while she walked to the counter. _Shit, more books than I thought. I hope I brought enough money otherwise I…_

She bumped into someone. She grabbed her back of the floor. "I'm sorry, I…"

A familiar voice interrupted her.

"Can't you just watch your stap, filthy mudblood?"

Hermione stood up and saw a pale blond boy with an arrogant smile on his face.

"Why don't you just..." but before she could finish her sentence he spit in her face.

"MALFOY! Go away!" She yelled at him, looking disgusted.

"No problem, I won't waste my time by looking at your ugly face any longer."

With those words the door shut behind him.

"Mione, you're quiet. Is something wrong?" Harry asked after he swallowed another chocolate frog. They were in the Hogwarts express and soon they would arrive at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"I Bet it's her period," Ron muttered when Hermione didn't answer.

She glared at Ron and Harry kicked him. "Shut up!"

"Well it is true," Ron mumbled. "They get all pissed and stuff, you know..."

Harry rolled his eyes, Hermione looked annoyed, and silence ,had once again returned into the compartment.

Hermione looked out of the window. She had been looking forward to seeing her friends again for so long, but even their presence couldn't cheer her up right now.

She got up and told her friends that she had to go to the toilet.

"I told you!" Ron said almost triumphantly.

Harry was just about to tell him that he should be nicer to Hermione, but he got distracted by the witch with the candy.

"Anything from the trolley dears?"

"…Mudblood at Diagon Alley," said someone in the compartment Hermione just passed. She knew what this was about, and she knew she didn't want to hear it but still she stood there and listened to what he was going to say about her.

"It's obvious that she wants me," the voice continued.

Hermione clenched her fists. _Oh please, that is so nót true._

"Too bad for her that I'm too good-looking, pureblood, and…just too good for her."

Hermione tried hard not to cough.

Someone else in the compartment laughed. Hermione didn't reconize his sound.

"I bet she's been crying for hours, when she found out she wasn't chosen to be Head Girl. Her parents must be so proud of her," Malfoy sneered.

Hermione bit on her lip.

"And have you seen her _face_? I bet all that make-up is to hide the black eye Weasly gave her when he found out what she really was. Just a stupid mudbloodslut who sleeps with other mudbloods to get paid for her schoolbooks!"

"Ha, ha," it sounded silly. It was clear that the other person didn't think the joke was as good as Malfoy thought it was.

Hermione's eyes tears filled with tears and she continued her way to the toilets running. She quickly locked the door behind her and sat down on the floor, staring at the wall opposite of her.

She put her hand in her pocket and pulled her pocket knife out of it. She hesitated a for a moment, but then she pushed up her sleeve and made a long, deep cut in her arm, which was already covered with scars.

It didn't hurt, in fact Hermione felt nothing at all, for a few lovely minutes. The pain caused by the cut took her thoughts off the pain her father and everyone else had done to her.

Hermione sat there until the train arrived at Hogwarts, ignoring the people who knocked on the door because they wanted to make sure that she was okay, watching little drops of blood dripping on the floor, thinking about what a mess her life had become.


	3. This isn't funny!

**Hey here's a New chappie! First… response time:P**

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: Hey other girl:p Yeah it certainly would have been THE teasing moment, I guess I just forgot about them, lol.**

**XXDarkest AngelXX: Thank you.**

**DancingBabe: Yeah, otherwise it would be all bloody and stuff, I don't like that ) Thank you.**

**Nanie-san: My first language is Dutch, and I'm not really good at English, I couldn't do it without XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX. And if I was Hermione I'd hex Malfoy to death too, but she's probably afraid to get expelled ;)**

**flip chick: Okay ) Thank you.**

**A/N: I noticed a little mistake in the last chapter, there's a little note I left there by coincidence, plz just ignore it. **

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**Chapter 3: This isn't funny!**

"Hermione," Ron whispered, so that Snape wouldn't hear him. "I can copy that charms essay after class, right?"

Hermione sighed. "No Ron, you can't."

"_Come on_, Mione! It's _difficult_!_" _Ron complained.

"That, Ronald, is because this is our seventh year and it's supposed to be _difficult,_" she imitated Ron.

"Will you guys just shut-" Harry started to say, but was interrupted by Snape.

"Potter, be quiet! Ten points from Gryffindor."

Harry gave him a dirty look didn't say anything and started to work on his assignment.

* * *

Hermione tried to avoid Harry and Ron that afternoon by spending it in the library. Ron would never come there unless he really had to, so he wouldn't bother her with his essay.

She sat down in a soft chair, and threw everything that was in her bag on the table in front of her when she couldn't find her 'Advanced Spells' book. She searched franticly through her books untill someone came to sit at the same table.

She looked up and rolled her eyes.

"What is it _now_, Malfoy!" she asked irritated.

"Oh _sorry_, I didn't see you behind all those books." He grabbed something of the table, and put it in his bag.

"Malfoy, what's that!"

"None of your business, _mudblood_," he sneered.

"It _is _my business if it's mine! Give it back Malfoy! Don't think I'm stupid, I saw you put something in your bag that wasn't yours!" Hermione yelled, but Malfoy already stood up and walked away.

Hermione hesitated, but then ran after him.

"Malfoy! If you don't stop running, _right now_, I'll hex you to death!"

"Oh yeah?" He shouted while he kept running. "I don't think so! The fact that you could get expelled should be enough to frighten you off.You wouldn´t dare!"

When he said that, he quickly jumped on the first step of a stair that was just about to move. Everyone at Hogwarts was used to it and they didn't mind, in fact they even used it as an excuse when they were late for class. But Hermione thought this was a very, very bad timing.

Malfoy put his hands in his pockets and whistled teasing.

"Malfoy, this is _not _funny!" she yelled while she kept running.

At the time Hermione had reached the place the stair had been, the distance was too big to even think about jumping.

When she walked back to the libraby, she shouted: "I'll get you someday Malfoy!" She sighed. "Somehow."

Hermione searched through the large amount of books on the table, trying to find out what was missing.

It seemed that everything was there. Maybe he didn't steal anything after all.

But suddenly an awful thought came up in her mind. She looked through her books again, praying she was wrong, but she was right.

Her diary was gone!

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**A/N: I know it's a VERY short chapter, but i wanted it to end here. The next one will be longer, I promise. Plz review!)**


	4. Tears and abuse

**Hey, here's another chapter. Hope you like it.**

**XXDarkest AngelXX: Yeah Draco's an arse but not always you know(oops I'm sorry, I've read to many nice-draco-fics).**

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: You write _long _reviews, lol. I'm going to use the locking charms idea, thanks.**

**flip chick: Thanks (for loving my story:P lol)**

**Mrs. Ginny Weasley-Potter: Thanks. I'd say read and find out:)**

**rizahawkeye21: Yeah it sucks. Thanks for reviewing.**

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**Chapter 4: Tears and abuse**

Hermione Granger spent the biggest part of the next day in the bathroom, crying and cutting.

She didn't care about the scars anymore; the whole school probably knew about it already.

Hermione looked at her watch. 6:30 pm.

_Everybody's having dinner right now,_ she thought. If she would go to the Gryffindor tower now, she wouldn't have to face the Ravenclaws, Huffelpuffs and Slytherins. That was at least something.

She stood up and walked to the Gryffindor tower. On her way, she kept thinking about Malfoy and her diary. She had been trying to find him, but of course he kept running from her.

Another thing was, that she was sure that he wouldn't bring the stupid thing everywhere, all around the school; so she had to get into the Slytherin commonroom to get it, which was quite impossible unless she made a Polyjuice potion again, but that would take a month.

So Hermione had given up. The only thing she could do right now was avoiding everyone who could know about her secrets.

And since that counted for everyone, she went to bed before the first Gryffindor returned from dinner that night.

But at 9:30 pm Parvati came in.

"Hermione?" She whispered.

Hermione pretended to be asleep.

"Hermione?" Parvati repeated. "Come on! I know you're not sleeping. Are you okay? Why didn't you show up for class today?"

Hermione sighed. "So you...you don't know?"

"About what?"

"You really don't know?" Hermione asked in relief. At least one person didn't know. Maybe Malfoy didn't tell the Gryffindors.

"Nope," Parvati answered, eyebrows knitted. "Should I know?"

"No," Hermione said.

"Oh, okay. Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight Parvati." Hermoine whispered and turned over in her bed again.

* * *

When Hermione looked out of the window the next morning, the sun was shining, and she decided that it was a nice weather to go outside for a walk.

It was a Saturday, so she didn't have to go to class, which she was very happy about, but she knew she had to face the rest of the school someday.

So Hermione put on some clothes, grabbed a book and walked through the corridors as if nothing was wrong.

Suddenly she felt a cold hand on her shoulder. She turned around as fast as she could and saw Malfoy's face.

Before she could scream or say anything he put one hand on her mouth, and with the other one he grabbed her hair and roughly pulled her into an empty classroom. Hermoine bit on her lip, trying not to cry out in pain. He locked the door and pushed her against the wall.

"Well, you're making it very easy for me, Granger."

Hermione wasn't sure what he meant by that.

"I'll let you go now," he said. "But I warn you, mudblood; No screaming, or running, or you _will regret it_." He said those last three words very slowly.

Hermione nodded. She didn't know what he was up to, but she was scared enough to do what he told her to.

"Good girl," he grinned with an evil twinkle in his eyes. "Granger, let just cut this short. You know I found your little diary."

Hermione glanced at him when he spoke the word 'found', but Malfoy took no notice.

"You see, I've been so nice to not tell anyone," he continued.

"You didn't tell anyone?" Hermione asked in relief.

"No Granger, but we both know I wouldn't do anything if nothing's in it for me."

"What do you want Malfoy? I'll do anything if you just give my diary back."

"Anything?" Malfoy said, surprised. "But I won't give your stupid diary back, well, maybe in a few weeks, but not yet."

"_But_," he continued before Hermione could interrupt him. "I won't tell anybody, if you'll do _anything _I ask you to, for let's say...a week."

Hermione hesitated. She couldn't let anyone find out. There were lots of things about her father in her diary, if teachers would find out about it, her father would kill her.

"Okay," she said with a little voice. "But what does that involve?"

"I knew you'd ask that, you're a bright little witch you know. Well, it could mean a lot. If I don't feel like doing homework, you will do it for me. If I feel like having sex, well...you know."

Hermione gasped at him in complete shock. "Having sex with _you_! No way, forget it! I'm not going to..."

"That's the price you've got to pay Granger. But hey, I probable won't ask you to do that anyway. I mean, it's not that you're the prettiest girl I can think of, but..."

"Alright Malfoy. It's a deal. But if you won't keep your promise, you will regret it." She glared at him. "You won't tell anybody, and you will give my diary back at the end of the week."

"Fine." Malfoy saw her leaving in tears. He couldn't care less about it. Now he just had to figure out how to open the damn diary...

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**Plz Review!**

**Devinnetjuh.**


	5. Confessions in the garden

**Thanks for the reviews! **

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: Hey, I like your long reviews! Really, lol. I just said that it was funny. **

**XXDarkest AngelXX: Well, maybe not :) **

**Mrs.Ginny Weasley-Potter: Couldn't believe it either ;)**

**vagrantben: Thank you.**

**rizahawkeye21: No she's not going to commit suicide (I couldn't do that to her:P)**

**and no she didn't no otherwise you wouldn't have agreed...she knew she put the locking charms on it of course but maybe she thought Draco was smart enough to open it.**

**lilmissqullible: Yup.**

**HermioneandMarcus: Thanks.  
**

**And…another chapter:P

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**

**Chapiter 5: Confessions in the garden  
**

The next morning Hermione woke up late and when she got up she noticed that the Gryffindor commonroom was almost empty.

Everyone was probably enjoying the beautiful weather outside.

She walked down the stairs quietly.

_The library_, she thought, _is the perfect place to hide for Malfoy and the rest._

Nobody would stay inside to study on a day like this.

But when she was only halfway through the corridor, she almost bumped into Harry.

"Mione, Malfoy asked me to tell you he wants to meet you at 2, in the garden." He looked disgusted when he spoke Malfoy's name.

"What's that about Mione, what the hell does he want from you?"

For a moment Hermione was afraid that he would turn against her as well, but when she saw the look on his face when she didn't answer, she realized he was worried.

"Harry, there's nothing to worry about. I don't know what he wants from me," she lied (though she didn't exactly know what he wanted from her, of course).

"I'll be fine," she said, sounding more confident than she felt.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked concerned.

"Yes of course Harry. I'm a seventeen year old witch, and I'll bring my wand. I can take perfect care of myself, thanks."

"I'm sorry, I was just worried," Harry apologized for doubting her.

Hermione smiled. "I know. But I've got to talk to you. Come on."

She grabbed his hand and they walked back to the common room, which was completely empty now.

They sat down in two comfortable chairs near the window.

"Harry," Hermione started. "You're my best friend, and there are some things I need to tell you." She sighed. "I'm…I have…I cut myself."

When she saw the shocked look on Harry's face, her eyes filled with tears.

"Please Harry, don't be mad," she whispered.

"I'm not mad at you! Of course not! But I just…I mean…Why Hermione? Why?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know. I don't know why," she lied. She couldn't tell him about her father.

"How long have you been doing this, Mione?" Harry asked.

"It started in the summer."

They were sitting there for a few minutes after that conversation, just looking at each other in silence, not knowing what to say.

After a while, Hermione said: "And there's another thing. Someone found out my secret. He stole my diary. I'm afraid he'll tell the whole school about it. And not only about that, there are other things in it too. Every single thought I had in the past few months, is in there!"

She tried to stop the tears from running down her cheeks.

"I wanted you to know first. Before you hear it from someone else."

"Who is it, Mione?"

Hermione burst out in tears. "It...it's Malfoy."

For a moment Harry was in shock. He understood perfectly what this meant to Hermione.

He hugged her while he whispered in her ear: "Hermione, please try to quit. Please promise me you'll try."

Hermione started to cry even louder. "I'll try."

She looked out of the window, while she tried to stop crying.

There, in the garden, she saw Malfoy lying in the grass. He was reading a book…her diary!

_That bastard! _She thought. _As if it means nothing, just reading my diary in public. Thank goodness he's not reading it out loud._

"Harry, I need to go now."

"But he wanted to see you at 2 pm I thought?"

"I know," she answered. "But he's reading my diary right now and I want it back."

"Okay," he sighed. "But please be careful. Don't let him abuse you."

Hermione didn't anwer, because she didn't want to lie to him again.

* * *

"Malfoy, I say this one last time: Give my fucking diary back!"

When he saw (and heard) her coming, he quickly turned his head away from her, but Hermione had already seen it.

"Malfoy?" She asked carefully. "Are you crying?"

He turned his face to her again. "None of your business, mudblood," he said in a trembling voice, but he handed Hermione the diary.

She looked at him surprised.

"It was a mistake."

Hermione sat down next to him. She didn't want to become friends with him or something, but there was obviously something wrong with him. Or was this just a trick?

"Why did you change your mind?" She asked.

"I…I read your diary," he started.

"Obviously."

"I couldn't do it before. I mean, you're locking charms..."

Hermione couldn't help smiling.

"And…I…You know, I don't like to say this. I…I kind of know how you're feeling," he stuttered.

_Draco Malfoy stuttering!_

"Oh yeah Malfoy? You know how I feel? How dare you tell me that you know how i feel!" She started getting angry. "You know what it's like, to be hit be your own father, every single day! To hope that it's going to be better, when you're far away from him, to be with your friends, but it still sucks because you hate yourself so much, so much! To even miss your father because he would punish you for just being you! To think you need to be punished, by cutting yourself! To wish that you will ever, ever again, have a good night of sleep without cutting yourself first! Now please tell me Malfoy, do you know how that feels!"

Tears appeared in his eyes again.

"Yes Granger, I know how that feels."

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**Well.. this was the end of the chapter. I hope you all liked it... please review**


	6. Draco Malfoy

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX,**

**XXDarkest AngelXX,**

**WaterGoddessss,**

**Mrs.Ginny Weasley-Potter,**

**lilmissqullible,**

**flip chick,**

**rizahawkeye21,**

**thanks for your reviews:)**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Draco Malfoy**

P.O.V Draco:

I looked at Hermione Granger, and she looked at me. It was obvious that she hadn't expected an anwer like this.

"You!" She said, after a while. "Why?"

"Oh, whatever," she continued before I could say something. "You wouldn't tell me."

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked

"Well, because you hate me, I hate you, you think I'm a mudblood, I'm a friend of Harry Potter, you're a Slytherin, I'm a Gryffindor. Remember?"

"Yes I remember." I looked into her eyes, trying to read what she thought. "Do you really hate me?"

Hermione looked away, and didn't say anything.

"Maybe I do want to tell you. You're the only one who understands how I feel," I admitted.

"Okay, whatever, tell me," she said a little bit annoyed.

_Annoyed? Damn, I don't want her to hate me._

"There isn't that much to tell," I started. "My dad doesn't hit me or something like that."

"I wouldn't be jealous."

"I'm sorry…I didn't…I didn't mean to…Sorry…I'm sorry…I don't think…" I rambled.

"Malfoy, get _to the point,_ " Hermione interrupted me.

"Alright," I said while taking a deep breath. "I'm under a lot of pressure. My father wants me to get good grades and really wants me to be Head Boy. And with being popular.. and everything... "

Hermione nodded. "There are more important things you know. But are you Head Boy?"

I nodded quietly, feeling a little embarrassed. I knew, that if someone deserved to be Head Girl, it was Hermione. I couldn't help feeling a bit angry with that pig of a...

As if she had read my mind, she asked: "And who's Head Girl? Please tell me it's not that pig of a…"

"It's Pansy."

"That's the pig I meant." She sighed. "Sorry, didn't mean to offend your girlfriend."

I frowned. _What?_ "My girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend," I said horrified.

"Oh."

"Ah, you were worried about that, Granger?" I grinned.

"No, I was NOT! You know, I'm wasting my time here!" She said angrily and started walking in the direction of the castle.

"Granger, wait!" I screamed while running after her. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, really confused.

"Because you're mean and pathetic, Malfoy! I don't know what you want from me, but it's obvious that you want _something. _Otherwise you wouldn't be nice to me anyways. How long has it been since you had your last good fuck? Is that what you want from me!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I just wanted to talk!"

Hermione turned around, so that I almost bumped into her. She was now standing right in front of me.

"You don't cut yourself, do you? I can't believe that I…I believed you."

I couldn't stand her looking so angry at me any longer. So I did something that I had been wanting for a long time, but which was very stupid because it was certainly not the right moment.

I kissed her.

When I felt her lips touching mine, I couldn't believe what I had almost done to her.

Before she could push me away, I already let her go and walked back to the castle, leaving a confused and stunned Hermoine behind.

* * *

(A/N: The rest of the story will continue as normal P.O.V)

"Hermione, Malfoy gave me this letter yesterday," Lavender giggled. "He said I had to give it to you today. He's pretty hot, for a Slytherin, but he is..._weird_."shegiggled again.

Hermione frowned when she saw the letter. There were some holes in it, as if someone had tried to open it, but didn't succeed because the letter was locked with a charm so that it could only be opened by someone who was allowed to.

She sighed and opened the letter, still angry with Malfoy.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I know you're angry with me, but please read this note. If you don't, I can understand, but I'm begging you. And believe me, I only do that when it's really necessary._

_I don't really know where to start. I've been thinking about suicide for a few months now, but when I read your diary I felt like there was hope for me again, there was someone who would understand me. _

_I fell in love with you, Hermione, over and over again, by reading your diary. _

_But when you didn't believe me, it broke my heart. I would never use something like this to hurt somebody. I know you think I would, but what can I say, I guess I deserved that, it's my reputation._

_I just wanted to let you know how I really feel about you, and apologize for my behavior. When you're reading this, I'm probably already gone. I don't deserve to live. Don't blame yourself. _

_Love, Draco._

Hermione gasped in shock, and looked at the Slytherin table as if she expected to see Draco sitting there, laughing at her because it was all just a sick joke.

But his seat was empty...

* * *

Plz review! 


	7. Thanks

**Thanks for reviewing: XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX, Mrs.Ginny Weasly-Potter, lilmissqullible, lostinsidesaveme, rizahawkeye21, Love from Cj, HPfanatic502, jenn, TheRealDramaQueen817, XXDarkest AngelXX and Fennella Egan.**

**A/N: Hello, another chappie! I'm sorry if my spelling is a bit worse than usual, but I want to update now (since I have to do homework later), and my beta isn't online.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: A talk**

Hermione no longer hesitated: She ran down the stairs to the dungeons.

When she saw Zalazar Slytherins painting on the wall **(A/N: I'm not sure, I don't think it's him on the painting. Do they even have a painting? I can't remember if it's mentioned in the books…but hey, who cares)** she yelled: "Let me in!"

"That's not the password," he said amused.

"Password? Er…Chocolate frogs? Pureblood?" She tried desperately.

Hermione glared at the unfriendly painting as it started to laugh loudly. "No, no. Now go back to your own common room, young _Gryffindor._"

Hermione heard footsteps behind her, and turned around. "Zabini! Please tell me the password!"

Blaise Zabini looked at her as if she was crazy. "And why would I tell you, _Mudblood!_"

"Because it's about Malfoy!" Zabini frowned while Hermione wondered if she had to tell him, but then she decided that she had no other choice.

"He is...he has...I don't know…He tried to commit suicide..Maybe he's dead, Zabini! Tell me the password and let me in!" She broke down in tears.

"Suicide? Yeah right," Zabini sneered. "How dare you say something like that? Besides, I think someone would have found him then, don't you think?"

For a moment Hermione started doubting again. He was right…Somebody would have found him, and everybody would have known about it in a few hours…Maybe it was just a big joke after all…

She started to feel very stupid, when Snape suddenly passed them, looking even paler than usual.

"Professor!" Snape stopped walking, and looked at Zabini. "What is it Blaise? I don't really have time for…"

But before Snape could finish his sentence or Zabini could say something, Hermione cried: "Malfoy wants to commit suicide!"

Zabini rolled his eyes. "Professor, could you please tell her that's rubbish? I mean someone would have…"

"Draco was brought into the infirmary this morning. Seriously injured."

* * *

Hermione sat next to Draco's bed for almost an hour before he woke up. Both his wrists were bandaged. 

She saw him moving, and she whispered his name. He opened his eyes, but looked away when he saw Hermione.

"What are you doing here?" He asked coldly. "To see how you're doing of course," she answered, but not in her normal bitchy tone. **(A/N: I don't really mean bitchy, but more that she always wants to be right. You know what I mean.)** "Don't you ever scare me like this again!"

"I thought you didn't care."

"That's ridiculous, and you know it," Hermione said. "I know we haven't been…civil to each other in the past, but I don't want you to die."

"I'm sorry about your diary."

"Yeah that wasn't nice."

"I know. I won't do anything like that to you again," he mumbled.

"You'd better not." They both laughed, but then Draco said in a serious tone: "You shouldn't be so nice to me."

Hermione shook her head, and smiled a little. "No, I should. If I forgive you about the diary, can you forgive me? Because I didn't believe you?"

"Okay. But I wouldn't forgive me, if I were you. I would hex me or something."

"I know. That's why I'm a Gryffindor, and you're not," Hermione giggled..

Draco threw a pillow at her, and laughed but then he quickly lay down on the bed again, moaning in pain.

Hermione looked at him worried.

"I'm fine," Draco said when he saw her face.

"No, you're not fine! You tried to kill yourself!"

She realized she shouldn't had said that when she saw tears appearing in his eyes. Trying to change the subject, she asked: "Why did you kiss me?"

"Because your beautiful," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Hermione blushed, and stood up quickly. "I should let Madam Pomfrey know you're awake."

She had almost reached the door, when she heard him say: "Gra…Hermione?"

She turned around. "Yes?"

"Thanks."

"Fo…for what?"

"I don't know. For caring."

They smiled at each other, and before Hermione realized what she was doing, she walked back to his bed, gave him a kiss on his cheek and quickly went to get Madam Pomfrey.

* * *

**I'm sorry that it's so short. Please review! **

Devinnetjuh.


	8. Hogsmeade

**A/N: Helloooo it's me! I was bored and ill so I wrote another chapter. Here it is:)**

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: I don't blame you for anything, I just said that you weren't online. Poor you. Sometimes I'm so happy I don't a have a little brother. Sorry for not being at school. **

**lilmissqullible: I totally agree. Lol.**

**hanvu: Thank you. I hope you like this chapter.**

**curvychick: Thnx.**

**XXDarkest AngelXX: Thanks, I love cookies.**

**vagrantben: Well here it is. :)**

**rizahawkeye21: No, I would never let Draco die. Lol.**

**Duckie Quack: Of course I will :)**

**TheRealDramaQueen817: Thanks.**

**Mrs.Ginny Weasley-Potter: I'm glad you like it and you'll find out soon.

* * *

**

**  
Chapter 8: Hogsmeade**

After a few days Draco was allowed to leave the infirmary, but Hermione kept avoiding him. She told herself that she didn't know why she had kissed him, but somewhere she knew she couldn't fool herself.

She was very confused and wanted some time to think, but that seemed to be quite impossible, since Draco kept trying to reach her. So Hermione decided to spend as much time with Ron and Harry as she could. Maybe he would leave her alone then.

But of course he didn't. He liked her (even though Hermione kept telling herself that he couldn't). So why would he leave her?

* * *

Hermione startled when something hit her arm. She looked around, and saw Draco grinning and pointing at the floor.

She quickly checked if Snape wasn't looking (they were in potions class) and then picked up the crumpled paper that had hit her.

_Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me next week?_

Hermione bit on the back of her feather, while she glared at Ron who was trying to read the note.

_**What?**_

She waited until everybody was working on his or her potion, then she threw the paper back to Draco.

_Oh, I thought you could read._

_**Ha-ha very funny. Why do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?**_

_Because I .like. you! Damn, do I have to wear a T-shirt with I love Hermione Granger on it before you finally get it!_

_**That would be interesting.**_

_No it would be silly since it's already obvious._

_**Okay…so say that I'll go to Hogsmeade with you…aren't you afraid what people will say if they see us together?**_

_Yes…They would think it's weird, but do you care?_

_**Not really. Do you?**_

_No. So you want to go with me then?_

_**I'd love to.

* * *

**_

"Oh, Hermione, you look so great!" Ginny yelled through the common room when Hermione came out of the girls dorm.

"Really?" But she knew she looked good. She was wearing a lightblue jeans skirt, and a white top she borrowed from Ginny and one white glove to cover the scars on her right wrist.

"Definately. So, who's the lucky guy?" Ginny giggled.

"There is no lucky guy."

"Oh, okay, so you're coming with us? What are we going to do? I was planning on buying some clothes, but Harry and Ron…"

"Okay, there is a guy!"

Ginny laughed. "Ha! I knew it. So who is it? Is he cute?"

Hermione blushed a little. "Umm..Yes.."

Ron and Harry came in. "Hey, what's so funny?"

"None of your business," Ginny said. "Now leave us alone, we've got important…girls stuff to talk about."

Ron gave her an angry look, but they left.

"So who is it?" Ginny continued curiously, when they were alone again. "It's not Ron, right? Oh, Mione, please don't tell me that it's Ron!"

"No, no, it's not Ron. Okay, I'll tell you, because you'll find out anyways. It's Draco."

"Draco? Draco Malfoy?" Ginny gasped. "How did you…But…You hate him!"

"I guess it just happened." Hermione didn't want to tell Ginny the whole story, because she knew she would have to tell about her problems too. "Are you mad at me?"

"Mad? No…I guess not. It's a bit strange thought...but he's so cute!"

"Oh Ginny, I'm so glad you don't mind!" Hermione laughed and hugged Ginny in relief.

* * *

"Two firewhiskeys please,"

"Oh um..I don't really drink that kind of stuff. A butterbeer's fine." Hermione said a little shy.

They sat down at the table in the corner.

"So you really don't drink?" Draco grinned. "Come on, just try it." He handed her his firewhiskey.

"No." She shook her head, laughing.

"Oh come on."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, if you want it so bad."

She carefully tried a little bit. "Hey, this actually tastes good! I think I'll have one."

"I think you had enough," Draco laughed, an hour and a few firewhiskeys later.

Hermione giggled. "No, I want to have another one."

Draco touched her cheek with his fingertips for a moment. "I've got a better idea."

"Oh yes? What is it?"

He leaned over the table to kiss her, first softly on her lips, then Hermione kissed back. Her first, real kiss.

They got so caught up in each other, that they didn't even notice that everybody in the Three Broomsticks was staring at them.

What they also didn't notice, was the person who rushed out of the bar, and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

**A/N: That was it for today:P Please review, and if you have any ideas, please let me know!**

**Devinnetjuh.**


	9. The room of requirement

**A/N: Hello, here's another chappie. ...What else can I say:)**

**mesaqt: Thank you.**

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: Okay, then I apologize for not being at school:P HA I didn't say sorry. Esther slapped Matthieu? Hahahaha lol I really love the new Esther. Though I still think we have a bad influence on her:P**

**hanvu: Wanna bet:P **

**rizahawkeye21: I can tell you it wasn't Pansy. So Pansy fans, stop reading, 'cuz I won't add a lot of Pansy. I don't like Pansy. Sorry:)**

**Hermione-Potter-52036: Thank you.**

**blah blah the angry mouse: Yeah:p (Cool name, by the way;) )**

**Fenella Egan: Hahahahahahha the mystery doorslammer. Lol. (Sorry, I think it sounds funny:P Harry Potter...and the mystery doorslammer! Hee hee) (Uhm just ignore me if I'm like this, lol)**

**Mrs.Ginny Weasley-Potter: Okay. Thanks for reviewing:)**

**lilmissqullible: I totally agree (again:P)

* * *

**

**Chapter 9: The Room of Requirement**

"Everybody is staring at us," Hermione whispered, and looked around angrily so that everyone quickly looked away.

It was the day after their date, and everybody had been talking about it. Hermione had gone to the library, where she always went if she wanted to be somewhere quiet, but unfortunately half the school, including Draco, had seemed to do the same.

"Yeah, I know. I can see it's a bit weird for them to see us together."

"But to me it _is _weird. If someone had told me this a few weeks ago, I'd say the person was crazy. It's all because of that stupid action of yours...And I don't even think that I'm the type of girl who would kiss on the first date."

"It was your first kiss, wasn't it?" Draco chuckled.

"No! I...how would you know?" Hermione blushed.

"Hello, I read you're diary. I know a lot of things about you."

"Oh, yes. But...did you read _everything_?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's just...I really couldn't stop reading. I found your thoughts fascinating. . I recognized a lot of things, about the cutting, about not getting along with your father. I discovered that you're not only a beauty on the outside, but also on the inside."

Hermione blushed even more now, and tried to change the subject. "What did you say about not getting along with you're father? I thought..."

He shook his head. "No, he doesn't hit me. But he wants..." he looked around, and saw several faces quickly looking down again. "...Certain things from me."

Suddenly Hermione stood up, and began to pack her bag.

"Umm..Hermione, where are you going?"

"Somewhere people won't bother us."

"Hey I like the idea."

"Yes? Well keep the dirty thoughts out of your head, I want to _talk _to you."

"Oh. Where is it?"

"Just follow me."

They walked up the stairs and looked at an empty wall. "Just think...Umm..That you need a place to be alone with me."

Hermione closed her eyes and forced herself to concentrate. After repeating _I need a room where we can be alone, I need a room where we can be alone_ several times in her head, she opened her eyes and saw the door of the Room of Requirement.

"Do you see it too?" She asked. Draco nodded, and followed her inside.

The room was different than in Hermione's memory (of course, because they used it different this time).

There were no books in it now, or pillows on the floor; There was a beautiful carpet on the floor, and the only furniture was a comfortable, dark red couch, with soft black pillows on it.

"Wow."

"Yes, it's beautiful, isn't it?"

Draco nodded. "You knew about this room?"

"Yes, we...I used it last year."

"Me too."

"Oh."

An awkward silence followed.

"So...why don't we sit down?"

When they sat comfortable, Hermione asked: "So, what is it that your father wants from you?"

"Well, isn't that obvious? He wants me to become a Death Eater."

Hermione bit her lip. "That what I've been afraid of. What if people would find out that I dated a future Death Eater? What would...Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being so selfish right now, I'm only thinking about myself," she rambled.

"No it's okay, I understand." He sighed. "I just want you to know that I don't want to become a Death Eater. Not...anymore."

"Not anymore? So...you wanted to?"

"Yes, until quite recently, actually. You're got to understand, it's how I was raised. I didn't know better! I always thought that my only purpose in life was becoming a Death Eater."

"So what changed your mind?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe I realized I had the right to have a normal life, just like everybody else. Finish Hogwarts, with good results, maybe have a family..."

Hermione looked deep into his grey eyes, and kissed him.

"You're really different than I thought."

"Yeah. So have you told Potter and Weasley yet?"

"Their names are Harry and Ron! And no I didn't tell them anything, but the whole school probably knows about yesterday. So what can I tell them? It's not like we're together or anything. Maybe I should tell them that, yes, so that they don't..."

"You're rambling again," Draco smiled. "But I would like that, you know."

"What?"

"Being together...with you. As boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Oh no. No, Draco, that's really too fast. We just had our first date yesterday!"

"Okay, okay," Draco said, a little dissapointed. "But let me know when you're ready."

"I will," Hermione whispered, and leaned over to kiss him again.

* * *

"Hey guys. Playing chess again?" Ginny said with an innocent face. 

"What do you want?" Ron asked suspiciously while Ginny sat down next to Harry.

"Nothing. Can't a girl just visit her dearest brother?"

"Not if the girl is you! You always want something from us!" Harry laughed.

"No, honestly, no. Hey Ron, are you still interested in Hermione?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Did you hear the rumors?"

Both Harry and Ron shook their heads.

"Gosh, you never know anything! Anyways, you never guess who Hermione was kissing in the Three Broomsticks yesterday!"

"Who?" Harry asked curiously.

"Draco Malfoy!"

Harry's jaw dropped. "No! That can't be true!" Ron shouted, so that everyone in the Common Room looked their way.

"He probably just heard about Hermione and Malfoy," Lavender whispered to Parvati. "I told you! He's had a crush on her for ages."

"Ginny, are you serious?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Of course, why would I lie about something like that? Ask anyone, the whole school knows it's true."

"Oh yeah!" Ron shouted angrily. "So the whole school knows about it! Was she even planning on telling us!"

"No, probably not, because she knew this was coming."

"That what was coming?"

"That you would be jealous Ron!"

* * *

"Hey Harry," Hermione said as she sat down next to him at the Gryffindor table, to have dinner. 

"Hello Hermione," he answered coldy.

Hermione looked at him. "Is something wrong?"

Before Harry could answer, Ron bellowed: "What's wrong! You're going out with that bloody ferret!"

Hermione looked at her food, avoiding eye contact with one of them. "Please don't shout, Ron."

"Well, I can't see why you would be ashamed of anything, especially since you're hanging around in Hogsmeade, kissing a Slytherin! And as if it isn't bad enough already, you chose Malfoy, of all Slytherins!"

"He's not...He's changed, Ron!" She looked at Harry, praying that he would be on her side.

But he shook his head. "I'm sorry Hermione. You can't do this."

"He's changed," Ron said in a sarcastic voice. "Yeah right, Mione. Those people never change. His father is a bloody Death Eater! What are you going to tell me next? That you're going to be replaced in Slytherin!"

"Well, maybe I will, i_f you all act so stupid!_" She grabbed her bag, and ran to the Room of Requirement, thinking _I need a place to be alone, I need a place to be alone._

The door quickly appeared, and she rushed in. This time there was only one chair.

_They don't want me anymore. They really want me to transfer to another house...I knew it. They've been hating me all along..They won't even give Draco a chance, because it's just a stupid excuse to finally get rid of me. I'm just an annoying bookworm..._ Hermione thought, no longer fighting her tears.

A feeling of control and relief got into her, when she grabbed her pocketknife out of her bag, and pressed it against her pale soft skin.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, almost nothing happened. But that will change. I guess. Plzzzz review! Ciao ciao.**

**Devinnetjuh**


	10. Sweet dreams

**A/N: Hello hello, another chappie..it's a bit short..but I don't really have time..**

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: Oh..A 'funny' review again:P:P reads it ALL again:P Oh yeah that's why he said 'certain things' and why Hermione wanted to talk in privet.**

**XXDarkest AngelXX: Yeah that's what they need to do pushes Harry and Ron into a hole feels very evil **

**Gabriella Montez-Bolton: He would exept for that you can't find someone in the Room of Requirement..remember Harry tried in book six(was it book six? Oh nevermind)?**

**hanvu: Haha yeah he will...but last time Draco tried to kill himself, not Hermione;) And maybe Hermione doesn't want to kill herself, she just cuts to forget the pain inside a little bit tries to look smart**

**rizahawkeye21: he's eating :D**

**flip chick: I will:) Thank you.**

**clawprincess4: Is that a good thing:P Thnx voor reviewing:D**

**curvychick: Yea they are. Sometimes:)**

**Fennella Egan: Yea we're going to write it! Let's kidnap J.K Rowling, and if she's missing we write the book, and if we're all famous and stuff we can tell everyone we wrote 'Harry Potter and the Mystery Doorslammer.'! Hee hee. Not funny. I'll shut up:D (I know it's a bit cliché...but Hermione had to defend herself in a way:) )**

**lilmissqullible: Huh? Did i stick my tongue out at you? Oh well, thanks for reviewing:)**

**Suuz: Hey Suuz..Did you know there's something really handy that's called story alert:P**

**HermioneandMarcus: Thanks:)**

**A/N: This chappie is going to switch between Hermione's pov and Draco's pov. I don't think it's confusing. If you think so, I'm sorry.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Sweet dreams**

Hermione gasped as she saw how much blood appeared from the cuts.

She hastily stood up, but felt dizzy and sat down again.

_It's okay Hermione, it's gonna be okay, _Hermione told herself. _You just need to get to the infirmary. You'll make up a story. _

She got up, slowly this time, but she started feeling dizzy again. Blood was dripping from her wrists on the floor, and Hermione knew that it was too much.

_It's gonna be okay. You didn't want to kill yourself. You just got carried away this time. You need to reach...the door..._

The last thing she remembered was opening the door, and then everything was black.

* * *

"Hey, what's wrong?"

But Draco didn't answer Blaise who was trying to get his attention. He just looked at the Gryffindor table. Hermione was fighting with Ron and Harry over something.

""Well, maybe I will, i_f you all act so stupid!_" He heard her shout. She rushed out of the hall. Something was wrong. Something was definately wrong.

His first thought was going after her, but then someone shouted his name.

He quickly turned around, to find Pansy yelling at him. "Is it true!"

"What's true?"

"You slept with that bitch! You slept with that MUDBLOOD!"

"In case you mean Hermione, no, I didn't sleep with her."

"Yeah right! What the hell are you doing Malfoy! I thought I knew you!"

Every student in the hall was now gasping at them.

"And since when do you call me Malfoy!"

"And since when do you call her Hermione!"

They looked at each other angrily, until Draco finally said something.

"Since we're friends. Now excuse me, I've got more important things to do than listening to you yelling at me." And with that he left the hall to find Hermione.

She could be in the Gryffindor Common room. Or outside. But Draco had the strong feeling that she was in the Room of Requirement to be alone. He didn't want to disturb her or anything, but he was afraid that she would do anything to herself.

When he stood in front of the wall on the seventh floor, he thought: _I need to find Hermione Granger, I need to find Hermione Granger._

But the door didn't appear. _Shit, _he thought. _That's right. You can't find someone in the Room of Requirement. _

But just when he was about to give up, Hermione came out of the invisible door, and fainted right in front of him.

* * *

She opened her yes, and noticed she was lying on a bed in a room she didn't know.

She sat up, and remembered everything again. She looked at her wrists, but to her surpise she saw that there were no cuts, only a few old scars.

She starled when the door suddenly opened.

"Hey," Draco said softly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I guess. But where are we?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. This is my room," he said. "The head's dorm," he explained when Hermione gave him a confused look.

"Oh. And what about..."

"Pansy sleeps in another room, don't worry. And she won't come back until tonight, trust me."

He sat down on the bed next to her.

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"Did you...heal me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I kind of studied it. I thought it might be handy, you know for times I..." Hermione didn't let him finish his sentence; she gently pressed her lips against his for a sweet, short kiss.

"I think I'm going to sleep again...Just for a while," she said. "Okay?"

"Of course," he smiled. "Sweet dreams."

* * *

When he entered the room later that evening to check on her, he heard her mumble: "No, please daddy...Please, not today..I've been a good girl...Please daddy, I love you..."

It broke Draco's heart to hear her beg like this. He whispered in her ear: "Hermione, wake up."

"NO!" Hermione screamed, eyes widened in fear. "Oh I'm sorry Draco...I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay. You was having a nightmare, so I woke you up."

"Thank you," Hermione said, before closing her eyes again.

* * *

Draco yawned, and looked at his watch. 1:00 am. He decided to go to bed.

He found Hermione, still asleep. Apparently she wasn't having any nightmares this time. He lay down next to her.

"Aluvve," Hermione mumbled in her sleep.

"What?"

"Iloveyou."

He smiled. "I love you too."

* * *

**A/N: Okay that was really really short. I'm so sorry. Next time: Christmas:)**

**Please review!**


	11. Betrayal

**A/N: Thanks to: XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX, HPfanatic592, rizahawkeye21, Hermione-Potter-52036, . stfu its Kaley ., flip chick, GreenDayFreek, why.cedric.diggory, Suuz, Gabriella Montez-Bolton, clawprincess4, Duckie Quack, Fennella Egan and GryffindorRox13 !

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**

**  
Chapter 11: Betrayal**

Hermione opened her eyes and yawned. She saw from the corner of her eye that a little note was lying next to her pillow.

She picked it up.

_Goodmorning love,_

_I'm downstairs, having breakfast. Don't worry about Pansy, I'll take her with me._

_Draco.

* * *

_

"Morning Gin."

"Morning Mione!"

Hermione began to eat her boiled egg.

"So," Ginny said. "Where have you been all night?"

"I ehm..."

"Were you...maybe with a certain Slytherin?" Ginny teased.

"No...I...Okay I was," Hermione stuttered. "But nothing happened, I swear."

"Hm, whatever." Hermione could tell she didn't believe her.

"Hermione," someone behind her said. She turned around, and saw Harry. "Can I talk to you?"

Hermione sighed. "Well Harry, if you want to shout at me again, and tell me how stupid I am, I'd say no, I don't want to talk to you."

"No Hermione, please, I just...I wanted to say sorry. I guess I was just a little shocked. I mean...I hate him, and you did too, until recently. But if you're happy...then I guess I'm okay with it."

"Do you really mean that?" Hermione said, and gave him a hug. "And what about Ron?" Harry didn't respond.

"So he's still mad at me." Harry nodded quietly, then changed the subject. "Mione, next week it's Christmas. Are you going to spend the holiday at home?"

"I don't know...I think so," Hermione said calmly, but she was slightly starting to panic. She didn't want to go back to her father. She had counted on the possibility of spending the holiday at the Weasley's.

"Are you going to the Burrow?"

Harry nodded.

"I don't think I'll be welcome there. I guess I'm staying at Hogwarts."

"Why? Don't you want to see your parents?"

"I...I just remembered that my parents already left. They're visiting family in...Russia," Hermione rambled.

Harry knitted his eyebrows. "Okay...Well, I'll try to talk to Ron. Bye Moine."

* * *

**A week later:  
**

_Dear Mione,_

_Merry Christmas! How are things going at Hogwarts?_

_I'm really sorry, but I couldn't convince Ron. I tried everything, I even made up something about being in love with you, and that I would die if I couldn't be with you soon, but he wouldn't believe me. _

_I hope you're having a nice holiday. Say merry christmas to Luna and Neville from me. _

_Write back soon!_

_Harry_

Hermione chuckled, and looked at the clock. She decided to go to dinner.

She arrived in the hall to find only one table. She looked around. Dumbledore, McGonnagal, Snape, Draco, Goyle, Pansy, Luna, Lavender, Neville and some first year Ravenclaws she didn't know.

Apparently she was late, because everyone had started eating already. She sat down next to Draco, and smiled at him. Suddenly she realized that this holiday wasn't going to be so bad.

* * *

Hermione gave Draco a kiss. "Come on, let's go to the Room of Requirement." 

But on their way they ran into Neville.

"Neville, what's wrong?" Hermione asked when she saw the worried look on his face.

"Her...Hermione...Is it true?"

"What's true?"

"That...that you hurt yourself?"

"What? How..." Hermione's jaw dropped. "How do you...Who told you!"

"Lavender."

"And who told Lavender!"

Neville didn't respond, and Hermione screamed. "Who told her! Answer me!"

"I...I don't know."

"Hey, Granger!" Hermione turned around to see Pansy. "Is it true that you try to kill yourself every night?" She asked with an amused look on her face.

Hermione tried to stop herself from crying.

"Oh, is it too much for you Granger? Are you going to commit suicide now?" Pansy said in a childish voice.

_This can't be happening._

"How do..." Then Hermione turned to Draco, and looked at him in anger and disbelief. "I trusted you!"

* * *

**A/N: Okay last time I said: 'Next time: Christmas!' The chappie wasn't about Christmas (it was just the beginning of the christmas holiday). I'm sorry. Next time will be about Christmas. Please R&R! **


	12. Help!

**First of all, thanks to: Suuz, Gabriella Montez-Bolton, RaveNClaWGeniuS, hanvu, lilmissqullible, xharrysxdirtyxlilxsecretx, Fennella Egan, . stfu its Kaley ., flip chick, rizahawkeye21, Dragon Of My Dreams, Love Cj Rae, a HUGE fan of this fic(sorry, can't email you if you don't tell me your email, I hope you'll check for updates yourself. Why don't you join and special thanks to: **

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX, reviewer #100!**

**A/N: Yeah well..I'm sorry for the late update, usually I update every week, but I've been drawing instead of writing lately...But here's a new chappie! **

**

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**

**Chapter 12: Help**

Hermione rushed into the girls bathroom, but Draco followed her. "Draco, GET OUT!"

"No! Hermione, I understand you're angry, but I swear I didn't tell anyone!"

"How can you lie to me like that! Why don't you explain to me how everyone suddenly knows, then!" Hermione cried. "I'll never understand you. It was wrong to think that we could be a couple." She sat down on the floor and cried. "Go away. This is a girls bathroom."

Draco shook his head. "I'm not going to leave until you believe me."

"Fine," Hermione said. "Then _I'll _just leave."

**

* * *

**

_Dear Harry,_

_Please, please, please, please, please try to convince Ron one more time. And if you can't, please ask Molly if you can invite me over. I'm going to die if I have to spend another week here, alone._

_Hermione _

_Hermione,_

_That's all I've been doing lately! But I guess a miracle happened. Ron is inviting you over. You can come today if you like._

_Harry. _

**_

* * *

_**

"Hello guys!" Hermione said while she stepped out of the fireplace.

"Hermione!" Harry smiled broadly.

After Hermione had greeted everyone, Harry said: "Mione, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure."

"Why were you so desperate to leave Hogwarts? I mean, Malfoy was there?"

Hermione bit her lip. "Malfoy and I...broke up."

"What? Why?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, I was stupid to think I could trust him. I ran into Pansy and Lavender today...and they knew about...you know what. I mean...he must have told them...no one else who was still at school knew about it."

"God, that's terrible," Harry said.

Hermione nodded, and tears appeared in her eyes. "I know. I don't know how I can go back at Hogwarts after this. I mean...You know Lavender, she loves to gossip. And Pansy can't be much better."

"Well, there's one good thing about gossips."

Hermione frowned. "Oh yeah, what is it?"

"They don't last long. When you return to Hogwarts, everyone probably already forgot about it. And until then, we're going to have a good time. Okay?"

Hermione nodded, and smiled slightly. "Maybe you're right. I'm just going to enjoy being with you guys."

_**

* * *

**_

"I'm so glad you're not mad at me anymore Ron," Hermione said. The three were sitting in Rons bedroom.

They heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" Ron shouted.

"No need to shout," Molly Weasley said cheerfully while she came in and handed out everybody's mail. "What a beautiful owl's that, Mione!" Ron said.

Hermione nodded. She recognized the owl. It was Draco's.

She felt angry while opening the letter. What the hell is he thinking! Hasn't he done enough already!

But Hermione raised her eyebrows, when she saw the one word that was written on the piece of parchment.

_Help! _

_**

* * *

**_

**A/N: Cliffie! Aren't I evil. Okay, I'm not happy with this chapter, it's too short, and it's just...Not good. I'm planning on writing every chapter before updating again, so that everything will fit and so. **

**Okay...My friend and I were bored, and then she wrote this poem. It was so dumb and weird and bad that I said I would put it in my next chapter. So ummm here it is. Enjoy.**

**_My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems  
The alien friend who visited me last week, also thinks so  
Maybe you wanna know why my friend and alien say so  
Maybe it's because of the fact you were doing your maths work_**

**_My imaginary friend really hates that, he told me so  
And do you wanna know what he said?  
He said that people who do their maths homework  
Are the craziest people of all, they're kind of like the ehm...kings of craziness_**

**_My imaginary friend hopes you find the poem interesting  
But I don't think so, because by the time you have read this whole thing  
You realize you have wasted like 30 seconds of your life._**

**_By XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX_**

**Some people are just...-cough- gifted. -cough-**

**Anyways, please review!**


	13. Truth or dare

**A/N: So...Here's another chapter. After this, there will be one more chapter and an epilogue. Thanks to the people who reviewed!

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**Chapter 13: Truth or dare**

Hermione hesitated for a moment before she crumpled the letter and threw it on her bed. _Pathetic, _she thought. _Anything to get me back at Hogwarts._

Harry looked up from his own mail. "What's that, Mione?"

"Oh, nothing," Hermione smiled innocently.

Later that night, Hermione, Harry, Ron and Ginny were sitting in Ginny's bedroom. Hermione yawned, and Ginny noticed. "I think we should all go to bed," she said.

"Are you kidding?" Fred, who just came in, said. "Mom and dad are going out together. Sort of a late christmas celebration, and they're almost married for 25 years."

"Tonight?" Ron asked dumbly.

"Yes, tonight, Ronnieboy. George and I bought firewhiskey's at Diagon Alley. Thought we could have our own christmasparty."

"Oh, I like those!" Hermione said loudly. Everyone looked at her in surprise. Hermione blushed slightly, then changed into the Hermione they all knew. "But what if your parents find out?"

"Nah, that won't happen," George responded.

"Don't worry," Fred added. "So what do you guys think?"

"Okay, Ron said, and Harry and Ginny nodded.

* * *

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Ginny said, before she ran to the bathroom. Fred laughed.

"Shouldn't someone go and look if she's okay?" Harry asked with a worried look on his face.

"No," George simply said. "Want something to drink Hermione?"

"No, I think I've had enough." She giggled. "Let's play a game. What about truth or dare?"

"Oh, I don't know Hermione," Harry mumbled. "It's getting late."

"Harry, you're no fun! Come on! Fred, George?"

"Okay," George said. "Hermione...truth or dare?"

"Truth!"

"How far did you go with Krum?"

Hermione threw a pillow at him. "Why do you want to know? He's not that interesting...Alright..We didn't do anything."

"Really? You must speak the truth! And remember, this game was your idea."

"I'm telling the truth. Okay..Harry, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Harry sighed.

"Which girl in school do you like most?"

"Pansy Parkinson," he answered in a serious tone. Everyone glanced at him.

"I was kidding!" He screamed, and laughed because of the look on their faces.

"So...Who is it then?" Hermione asked.

"I...I don't know," Harry stuttered.

"Okay, you're all asking for a truth spell," George sighed, and casted a quick spell.

"Hermione," Harry said.

"Yes?"

"Noyousaskedwhoithinkisthecutestgirlinhogwartsandithinkitsyou." Harry said quickly, his face turning red.

"Oh." An awkward silence followed. "Harry, it's your turn."

"Wait, we're going to get some more of that firewhiskey, right brother?" Fred and George walked out of the room.

"Well, then I'm going to check on Ginny. She's been in there for almost ten minutes now." Ron also left.

Hermione looked at Harry. "So...do you really like me?" She loved the feeling of being drunk. It gave her so much more confidence.

"Uhm...Yes...You're changed so much. You look so beautiful."

Then Hermione kissed Harry. From the moment their lips touched each other, she could tell that he was a great kisser, but she couldn't help thinking about Draco. His kisses were perfect. _Draco! _Suddenly Hermione thought clearly again, even though she was drunk. _The truth spell!_

She pulled back, and asked: "And were you...by any chance jealous of me and Draco?"

"Of course I was," Harry admitted. "But I didn't want you to notice."

"But you don't know who told everybody about my secret, do you? So that I would blame Draco?"

She saw him biting his lip.

_Oh Merlin! _She thought. _I was wrong! It was Harry!_

"I do," he answered slowly. "It was me."

* * *

**A/N: So...It was Harry! ...What else can I say? Uhm..well, please review:D**


	14. St Mungo's

**A/N: Thanks to XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX, . stfu its Kaley ., HPfanatic592, Hermione-Potter-52036, flip chick, Addicted2Love, lilmissqullible, Suuz, Gabriella Montez Bolton, Fennella Egan, StarArrow, rizahawkeye21 and clawprincess4.**

**So...this is the last chapter –sighs-. It may be a bit boring, I'm sorry, but I guess there's some stuff that needs to happen... I'll upload the epilogue next week or so.

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**Chapter 14: St. Mungo's**

"Fuck! Harry, how could you!"

Harry looked at the ground. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...I can expl..."

"There's no need to explain!" Hermione bellowed. Fred and George, who just came in, looked at her in shock. "You're such a loser!" She added with tears in her eyes, and rushed out of the room.

She felt the urge to hex or hit Harry, or cry the whole night, or drink until she would fall asleep, or cut herself really bad, or...but she had realized one thing. If Draco wasn't the one who did this to her, his letter could have been a real call for help.

She went to the fireplace downstairs. She found the floo powder in a little box next to it, quickly casted a firespell and threw some powder into the fire. "Hogwarts!"

* * *

The first thing she saw was the shocked look on McGonnagal's face. Hermione remembered that McGonnagal's fireplace was the one in Hogwarts you could use during the holidays. _But not at 11:30 pm, _Hermione thought, remembering the time.

"Miss Granger! What are you doing here so late, may I ask?"

"I'm really sorry professor. But I really need to ask you something. Has Draco Malfoy left Hogwarts?"

"Yes, he did," she answered, still surprised by Hermione's sudden appearance. "Oh, I might as well tell you, since you're already here." She gave Hermione a stern glare. "Mister Malfoy left Hogwarts to go home this morning. Something happened to him, and now he's in St.Mungo's.

"Oh God! I need floo powder."

"But miss Granger..."

"Floo powder, Professor!"

McGonnagal looked shocked about her best student being so rude to a teacher. She pointed at an ashtray on the table.

Hermione grabbed some powder out of it, and frowned. "Professor, are you sure this is floo powder?"

McGonnagal looked at her angrily. "Are you accusing me of smoking, miss Granger?" She asked, but Hermione saw that she blushed slightly.

"Of course not, Professor," Hermione said, and showed her most innocent smile. "St. Mungo's!"

* * *

She walked to the lady behind the counter, who was secretly taking a nap. "Excuse me! Could you please tell me where I can find Draco Malfoy?"

The woman woke up. "But it's almost midnight?" She yawned.

"Okay, then I'll wait until tomorrow. I need to know if he's okay."

"I don't think you should visit him. Not yet. He isn't doing very well."

"Is he going to die!"

"I don't think so."

"You don't think so! You mean you're not sure? There is a chance!"

"A very, very small chance."

Hermione tried not to cry. "What happened to him?"

"Some serious muggle injuries we can heal, but he's lost a lot of blood. Maybe one of his relatives did this. Child abuse happens more than you think."

"I know," Hermione said without thinking.

"And who am I telling all this, may I ask?"

"I'm Hermione Granger. Draco's girl...ex-girlfriend."

"But you still seem to care about him a lot."

"Well...Let's say I terribly misjudged him. I hope he'll ever be able to forgive me. If...if he survives."

"I think he will."

"Which one?"

"Both."

Hermione tried to smile. "Isn't it strange how you can share things with a complete stranger when you're feeling so helpless?"

The woman nodded, and smiled. Before Hermione could think, they hugged each other.

"Mrs. Zabini?" A voice called from behind Hermione, and she turned around while she realized she had just hugged a woman who seemed to be related to Blaise Zabini. A grey haired man approached.

"Malfoy from room 6 just woke up."

"That's great!" Mrs. Zabini said. "Hermione, I've got to do some tests with him first. I think you can visit him after that." Hermione smiled broadly.

She waited for about half an hour, but it seemed like ages.

When she finally came back, Hermione hastely jumped from her seat. "And? Is he okay? Can I see him?"

"Yes, he's doing much better. But he's still weak. You can see him for about five minutes."

* * *

When Hermione entered the large, white room, she saw three beds, but two were empty. She walked to the bed closest to the window, which was Draco's.

"Draco?"

When he noticed Hermione, he looked away, and said: "What do you want? I thought that it was over."

"No Draco, please listen. I am so sorry. I was wrong. I know you didn't tell."

"You do?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, I found out who it was. It was Harry."

"Oh...I'm sorry Hermione," Draco said to her surprise. "You were best friends," he continued in a tone that reminded her of how sweet he was.

"Well, at least I still got Ron, and Ginny. And you, if you..."

"I still love you Hermione. Don't think I'll ever stop doing that."

"Hermione smiled, then looked serious again. "But now tell me what happened to you."

"My father."

"Your father?" Hermione asked in disbelief. "I thought you said he doesn't hit you!"

"Yeah, well, he never did. But hey, my father is full of surprises," he responded coldly. "He suddenly wanted me to come home, shortly after you left Hogwarts. That's when I sent the letter. I'm sorry I bothered you with that. You couldn't have helped. But I was so desperate, and there was no one else I could think of. But shortly after I sent the letter, my father came to get me, through Snape's fireplace. He said I had to be...marked."

"The dark mark?" Hermione whispered.

"Yes. When I refused he beat me up. I was lucky he didn't bring his wand. I'm sure he had used some curse against me. Anyway, I amost got unconcious. I remember my mother coming in, though. She must have done something to him with her wand. The healer says she brought me here."

"She sounds a lot nicer that your dad."

"Yes, she is."

"So what are we going to do now?"

"Now?"

"No, not now silly," Hermione laughed. "In the future."

"Oh...Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Now that we're talking about the future...will you marry me? I mean...If we finished Hogwarts...and get a job or something, and when things are better with our..."

"Cutting problem?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure that will be okay. And Draco?"

"Yes?"

"Of course I'll marry you! In the far, far future!" They both laughed.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

**A/N: I know. I'm really sorry the last chapter sucked. I have been a bit busy, and a bit depressed lately, so maybe that's the cause of it. Anyways, plz review. And let me know if you want a sequel. Be honest. **


	15. Epilogue

**A/N: It's me again! Okay, after the "Chapter that Sucked", here's the epilogue. First some replies...**

**clawprincess4: Yea I agree. That's one of the things that made the chapter suck, I guess. **

**. stfu its Kaley .: Aw thank you. **

**XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX: Hahaha that's the best thing, nobody died:P Lol. **

**flip chick: Thanks for forgiving me:)**

**Addicted2Love: Thanks!**

**Fennella Egan: Thank you.**

**Beautiful Suicide15: Okay..I'd really like to write a sequel..it's just that I don't have any idea's yet. So if you, or someone else has ideas, please tell me.**

**feltonstwuwuv: Okay, I'll TRY to write a sequel.**

**MyStErIoSaNgEl101: Thank you. I think this is soon enough:)**

**Suuz: I'm sorry, but I needed to end it, haha.**

**Dragon Of My Dreams: Thanks.**

**Rizahawkeye21: Yes, I think that was the main problem (that it was going too fast). And maybe you're right about the sequel thingy, I really don't know what to put in.

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**Chapter 15; Epilogue**

When Hermione Malfoy saw the small red scars on her daughter's arm, she knew everything was wrong.

"Honey, how did this happen?"

"I did it myself," little Jane said proudly. _Proudly? Oh, Merlin._

"But honey, why? It's wrong!"

"But I saw daddy doing it last week."

Hermione fought against her tears. They shouldn't raise their children to be cutters.

That moment Draco came in. "Goodmorning!" He gave Hermione and Jane a kiss on their cheeks.

Hermione looked at him sternly, but couldn't hide the tears in her eyes. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" Draco raised his eyebrowes. "Sure."

They walked into their bedroom. "So...What's wrong?"

"Everything!" Hermione bellowed. "I thought you were going to quit cutting!"

"Oh, Merlin, Hermione! You know I can't. And I know that you're still doing at too."

Hermione looked at the ground now. "But that's not everything...Draco, Jane saw you. She saw you cutting yourself. She did it too!"

"What!"

"I know! It horrible! She's just a kid, she doesn't know better than what her daddy does is right! You should be more careful!"

"I know. Merlin, I hate myself right now."

He hugged Hermione, and held her tightly for a while. "I know that feeling."

* * *

Hermione woke up with a start. She looked around, and was relieved to see the walls of her dorm at Hogwarts. She sighed happily when she realized she was still seventeen.

But because of her dream, Hermione lay awake for hours, thinking.

Maybe it was just a silly dream, but what if it was the unavoidable reality?

Hermione hoped, for the first time in her life, that she was wrong.

* * *

** THE END.

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**

**A/N: Okay, I know that was weird. Plz review!**


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